Whatever I lose, I never lose myself

India

Life isn’t always the place of happiness and peace we would wish it to be.

As much as we can try and keep our personal oceans calm and mirror-like, so much is beyond our control and we are powerless to quell the sudden storms which can appear and rage.

For weeks, no, months now I have felt I have been hit by storm after storm, each one seemingly stronger than the last.

I have felt at times like a leaf, something frail and small, powerless to prevent myself being blown about, and against any hard obstacle.

It has been a slow process of seeming to strip away so much of me. My smile has disappeared at times, my patience and humour have been fleeting.

Those who know me, know how easily I can withdraw into my darkness, allowing my thoughts, and demons to run amok. I have dwelled in the cold despair of not knowing how to truly dig myself out of it all.

Then it hit me…

I don’t need to.

Yes, storms and hurt erode, but they can’t take all of me. I am still me. There is a strong and defiant heart at the centre of this woman, which will triumph.

When the storms die down and the wind drops its debris I stand again. Whatever else about me has been stripped away, what remains is determination and a renewed strength that comes from the realization that it did not beat me.

I am still here!

*grins*

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Whatever I lose, I never lose myself

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